I'm Still Here!!

I haven't forgotten my blogs, I've just not been all that motivated to update them lately. I'm sorry. There has been lots going on, especially with Christmas and all the December birthdays we have around here. My best friend just had her baby and I swear he is the cutest baby boy I've ever seen! I'm desperately playing catch up with a lot, an overwhelming lot of stuff that I have on my plate. Nonetheless, blogging is one of the things on my plate that I actually tend to enjoy (or at least find cathartic) so I decided that I could prioritize this for the morning. Keep your eyes peeled, between all four blogs I have lots of posts that should be popping up soon!!

What would I say?

Via ETSY on Facebook
 Etsy posted this picture on their Facebook page and it just struck a nerve. I'm not sure that I should tell my past self anything. I don't really feel like I've made the best life decisions, but that just means I'm even less qualified to give myself advice. I could tell my past self a few things that may make her life a little less stressful along the way, maybe. 

 1) Go on ahead and change your major! Stressing out and spending nights at school while pregnant or while parenting a small child to barely pass organic chemistry is NOT WORTH IT. That degree you are working so hard for isn't going to amount to anything anyway. Choose something that you can actually use instead.
2) If you didn't take the advice in #1 then: DO NOT QUIT your easy, pays well, great benefits, works with your life plan job to work "in the science field." That job was the worst, ever and you compromised the few morals you have to do it. That job will spell the end of your wedding and science career dreams. If you must, just hold out for a different PI.
3) Didn't listen to #1 or #2? Doesn't matter, the only thing I can say for sure is: Put on your big girl panties. Prepare yourself for the hardest lessons you have had to learn and be ready to let go. There is a lot to let go of. It's really hard to let go of a lot of it, most of it, but I think it's the only way to come to terms with life. I mean the life you actually got, not the one you thought you'd have or the one you imagined growing up. Figure out how to be happy with what you have and not keep searching. There is always something bigger, brighter, shinier, more expensive, more beautiful, more trendy, more fun, just more... Let it go. You'd probably save yourself a lot of time and tears and angst, but I suspect that this is an on-going, life-long battle to wage.

A Short Job Rant

I hope that someday I have a job which provides for me the means by which I can take my family out to eat, sign the Munchkin up for all the classes her little heart and feet desire, take my pet to the vet for his shots (on time!), maybe that job might even provide enough for me to have some squirreled away. I hope that my imaginary job doesn't suck too much or force me to spend too many hours away from my family. Mostly, though, I just want said job to provide a small measure of security. A padded landing so the thought of taking my child to the doctor doesn't panic me when I consider the copay.

Yes, I know we could skip Ren Faire and Disney and we could have turned down those season ticket opportunities, but now it's too late. (Not that I don't have a whole barrel of guilt about these things and many, many more) It's not just my money. I have too many things to spend on and nothing to spend. More applications, more "smiling" through my phony "please hire me" BS on the endless forms I keep filling out and there is still no job and still no money.

maybe someday.